For now, here's something I found while I was surfing the net for coming out stories. I relate to much of what he has to say about coming out and have thought about many of these things. Obviously, not all GLBT individuals are as depicted in his story, and I have no clue whether or not the GLBT community on the whole is "self-loathing." But it was a relief to see that there's another gay person who thinks some of the same things as I do, particularly that coming out is not necessarily the best thing for every gay person and having that sense of not fitting in with gays.
Hi! My name is Greg, I "came out when I was 21 years old, today I am 49 years old. My story may differ from most, then again, so do I.
To summarize decades of my experience as an out gay man; if I had only known then what I know now, I would have chosen another avenue with greater growth. I will admit coming out is a source of relief over empowerment; however, is not the answer for all.
I have spent the greater part of 28 years of my out gay life trying to find a niche amongst my peers; a niche that does not exist. I am not like the visual majority of gay men I have met, observed, and read about.
The social, sexual, & relationship patterns of my peers have no common ground amongst my core values. Once again, I felt as though I was the odd one out when I found myself having to self medicate in order to be one of the guys.
It is my belief I would have been much better off acknowledging my sexual orientation, possibly sharing it with likeminded and safe souls who crossed my path, and living my life as I had before discovering my attraction.
We live in a day where the love of power dominates over the power of love. Therefore, we are labeled with a broad brush, discounted as damaged goods, and put back on the shelf until needed to wedge people against one another. As we bicker amongst ourselves, we create a diversion taking the focus off of what really matters.
I accept as my truth that once I labeled myself as a gay man, I attached a social stigma and limited myself in many ways. However, as one who lives in the now, I have made a conscious decision to "go in" as opposed to "come out" as I did 28 years ago.
My sexual identity is nobody's business but my own. All those telling you to come out do so for selfish reasons which has nothing to do with you. Why should you stand up for a community that is self-loathing and cannibalizes their own. These are the questions you must ask yourself before announcing to the world what it is you do in bed.
Good luck, you'll need it.